


Only Siths Deal in Absolutes

by EmpressUnderdog



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Prequel Trilogy
Genre: Angst, Hurt Obi-Wan Kenobi, Obi-Wan Kenobi Needs a Hug, Padawan Obi-Wan Kenobi
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-09
Updated: 2020-05-09
Packaged: 2021-03-03 02:41:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 742
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24087535
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EmpressUnderdog/pseuds/EmpressUnderdog
Summary: The perfect Jedi forms no attachments.Jedi learn from a young age that attachments can only lead to pain and the dark side.Obi-Wan Kenobi is not the perfect Jedi.Here are the most prominent memories Obi-Wan Kenobi has of his attachments through the years, followed by their death or betrayal.The soundtrack to this fic is Magnolia by Keshi on repeat until you associate the song with feeling sad about Star Wars.
Kudos: 9





	Only Siths Deal in Absolutes

**Author's Note:**

> I just feel like writing a sad Star Wars fic. I had this idea because I just came to the realization everyone this guy loves betrays him or dies. (Luke is literally the only exception to this) That’s not cool and Obi-Wan’s mental state definitely reflects this. 
> 
> I was originally just going to write about Anakins betrayal and have it as a one shot of the first and the last times he made Obi-Wan cry. (Because I feel like he cried a little after mustafar.) 
> 
> I’ll add more tags as they become relevant, later when I add more chapters.
> 
> (Side note: There are no ships here that weren't explicitly canon, like Satine and Obi-Wan. I'm trying to make this accurate and trying to follow the plot. I haven't seen all of the clone wars and I haven't watched all of the movies in like 5 years so I'm a little rusty in the Star Wars Universe. I also have no idea how many attachments I'm going to add. There are so many.) 
> 
> Here are some I'm planning on doing: (I'd like to add them in order of when Obi-Wan first met them, but this list is not in order yet)   
> -Qui-Gon Jinn (father figure) FINISHED  
> \- Satine Kryze (lover)   
> -Quinlan Vos (Friend)   
> -Anakin Skywalker (annoying little brother figure)  
> -Commander Cody and the 212th (family)   
> -Bail and Breha Organa (friends)   
> -Plo Koon (friend)   
> -Luminara Unduli (friend)   
> -Ahsoka Tano (granddaughter figure)   
> -Asajj Ventress (fond enemy)   
> \- To be continued

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Qui-Gon is the first person Obi-Wan Kenobi gets attached too. He is nowhere near the last. 
> 
> Here are a few snapshots of Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon's relationship. 
> 
> I tried to make the death scene accurate but I'm sure it will become less canon as we progress into the attachments that don't have a specific death scene that was in the movies, like Satine. I'll have to do some serious research to make it as accurate as I can. 
> 
> I wrote this at 2 am and I am just now adding to it and editing 14 hours later.

13 year old Obi-Wan knew he wasn’t going to be picked. He’s not naïve, he had gotten into a fight three days prior and he wasn’t going to be a padawan. Obi-Wan felt his stomach sink and a wave of sadness wash over him. He knew other younglings who were apprenticed, Luminara, Quinlan, Aayla, Obi-Wan would not be joining them. 

~  
He is on his way over to Agricorps. Obi-Wan keeps catching the eyes of Master Jinn. Jinn has this look to him. Obi-Wan couldn’t place it. Obi-Wan plans to avoid his gaze for the rest of the trip. He doesn’t want to see the hopeless look in his eyes again.  
When he offered to detonate his collar to save the lives of the slaves in the mine, those eyes became unbearable. When Qui-Gon asks Obi-Wan to be his padawan, he can't say no. 

~  
He is a padawan. Obi-Wan has a master.  
Qui-Gon was closed off, praise was hard to come by and very little. But Obi-Wan takes it with a smile, it’s better than nothing. Qui-Gon's unwillingness to take Obi-Wan as his padawan no longer a fresh wound, but still raw. Releasing his emotions into the force lessens the hurt. Meditation is Obi-Wan's new lifeline. 

~  
Obi-Wan is eighteen now. He barely remembers his lifeday. Lifeday’s are rarely celebrated in the temple, most masters acknowledge the date and give their padawans a day off. Obi-Wan is in the middle of a mission gone wrong. He spends his 18th lifeday left in a prison cell to rot.  
Better alive than dead he thinks. Real Jedi don’t think like that.

~  
Qui Gon’s eyes don’t hold that same sadness in them as when they first met. Obi-Wan lets his mouth turn up slightly. He can tell his master isn’t happy, but peaceful is often as good as it gets. They're sitting on a balcony overlooking Coruscant. The streets are busy as always and Obi-Wan's stomach churns as he looks down at the speeders below. The duo had been given a break from missons. They had made tea, Qui-Gon's long grown cold, Obi-Wan tries to ignore how that detail worries him, and spends the rest of the night staring out into the city. 

~

A red blade sticks out of his master’s torso. Obi-Wan’s breath hitches and his heart skips a beat. Obi-Wan's cry so loud he can hear it echo.  
Nothing is registering. He can smell burning flesh, he can hear ringing in his ears. Obi-Wan can't feel his legs, but he ran as fast as he could to the force field, wanting nothing more than for it to drop and let him avenge his master. 

Qui-Gon is limp on the ground.

Qui Gon, Dead. No. Not yet. Dying. 

Qui Gon is dying. 

Darth Maul stands over him and stares down Obi-Wan. Those vibrant yellow eyes mocking him, beckoning him closer. 

The force field drops, Obi-Wan wastes no time.

Rage creeps it’s way into his mind. Obi-Wan feels anger like he’s never felt it before. Rage fuels him as he charges after Maul. His gaze no doubt matching Darth Maul’s, Murderous, tinted yellow if you look closely. 

The dark side whispers in his ear, he listens. It was a mistake.  
Rage and power cloud his judgment and Obi-Wan has fallen a few floors down, his lightsaber close to falling off the ledge as well. This is a careless mistake he wouldn’t have made otherwise.  
A careless mistake that could have costed him his life. 

Obi-Wan shakes the dark side out of his head, but it still whispers in his ear.

Maul is dead. 

Obi-Wan took too long to kill the Sith. Qui-Gon has no time left, if only he had been faster.  
If only Obi-Wan had been the perfect Jedi, He could have saved him.

Obi-Wan dipped his toes into the dark side and found only misery. 

He vows to never touch it again. 

Qui Gon’s last words are to train the boy. When Qui-Gon had told the council his padawan was ready for his trials, it was only to shake him loose. 

Obi-Wan feels his throat dry up. Qui Gon hadn’t wanted him in the first place. 

~  
The next time Obi-Wan sees Anakin, he fights off the jealousy that takes hold. It's not the boy's fault. Obi-Wan should have been better.  
The perfect Jedi feels no jealousy.

Two Jedi and a Sith walk into a bar. 

A padawan walks out. His eyes have lost their fire.


End file.
